the twilght zone

Anniemay drops me off outside this building.  There are about half a dozen men in the waiting room, slumped in their chairs.  No one looks up, no eye contact is made, just a palpable mood of apprehension.  I feel like I’ve wandered into an alternative universe.

There’s a TV set on in the corner; it’s a day-time show and although the volume is low, it’s still loud enough to cause a sudden reaction when an item comes on that makes me question my sanity. And my hearing. Did they really say that?

First item is about a psychic alpaca that can predict the World Cup results.  This is  followed by the news that Harry and Megan have won the Ripple of Hope award.  (I had to google this - it’s a real thing, set up in memory of Robert F Kennedy.  Past recipients include Barak Obama).

Then a panel of celebrities debate the ‘nation’s top Christmas gripes’.  And all before I’m given sedation.

Perhaps it’s a clever diversion; to remind me that there are far worse things in the world than having a colonoscopy.

I’m not (quite) as worried as I could be.  I was last here 17 years ago when bowel cancer tumours were found.  I know that if the cancer is going to return, it’s most likely to do so in the first couple of years.  After that, the probability steadily decreases.  So now, after all this time, it’s very unlikely.  But not impossible.  Which is why I’m here.

I watch on the big colour screen.  Far more riviting than day-time TV.  I couldn’t have done this first time round, but now I feel I owe it to my body to take an interest.  We’ve been through a lot together.

No tumours are found.  Something is not quite right and will need further investigation.  But it’s not cancer.