reality

The emotion of the day today is “frustrated”. I’m frustrated with my dogs for going to the bathroom in the house today and for making a huge bloody mess (they’re ok, one has a cut on the tip of her tail, known as “happy tail”, so she sprays blood everywhere whenever she wags her tail). I’m frustrated with my husband for somehow managing to undo all the house work I’ve done while also being blissfully unaware he’s doing so. I’m frustrated with the woman I’ve been corresponding with at a potential new job for ghosting me for the entire weekend and leaving me very confused about our “talk” tomorrow (I don’t know if this is supposed to be in person or on the phone and my attempts at reaching her have been unsuccessful). I’m frustrated with the weather here because it snowed today even though it was not in the forecast. I’m frustrated with my house because we now have a broken dryer, a broken garage door and a broken microwave.
Most of all I am frustrated with myself.
I hate that I was so short tempered with my dogs. I know they don’t do these things to intentionally upset me and it’s not fair to discipline them for that. I hate that I feel any sort of animosity towards my husband who went out of his way twice today to try and make my day better. I hate that I’m letting my anxiety about a new job prospect discolor my opinion of this woman that I have never even met before and by all accounts probably just had the weekend off. I hate that I’m upset at a snow flurry when I know this is what I signed up for when I moved here, and honestly the weather was pretty dang mild today. I hate that I let a few broken material objects ruin my mood and stress me out when in reality I am SO incredibly lucky and privileged to live in this home that my husband and I own and never have to worry about having a roof over my head.
I hate that my mood has been so sour today and I really have no one to blame but myself.
Here’s to tomorrow being better…