Eyes wide shut.

This is Teddy. He's trying to sleep. He's been trying to get some sleep all weekend. A little lie in would be nice. But no.

The flat above has laminate flooring, a little person who's just learned to walk, presumably in clogs, a muckle great dog and some, how can I say it, adults.

Christmas must have brought several sit n rides, an indoor bowling set and a toy jackhammer. Even the ironing sounds like Olympic trampolinists in training. And, if Teddy ever gets his hands on Mr Dyson....

Red eyed Teddy.