Deflating, Strand Wharf, Leigh-on-Sea

When you've got a puncture, an old boy wearing a beanie hat, sawn-off jogging bottoms and slippers is probably not your ideal passer-by. But he stayed, dispensing advice, for the duration of the wheel change.

Then the children began whining. Then a couple who live nearby wandered over.

Him: Tyre ripped bumping up the ramp, did it? Happens about once a week.

Driver: At least I'm in good company, then.

Her: Well, you shouldn't be there, anyway. It's no parking.

Still the guy didn't lose his cool. I need some of whatever he's taking.