Gun Control

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I have no idea how yesterday's interview went. Not really. I came out of it yesterday thinking, "No way" but the people I've been speaking to around the office have all been insisting they MUST hire me.

I guess what I'm saying is that if HR were a democracy I'd be like Tony Blair in 1997. 

Unless the people who said that to me, say that to EVERYONE. 

Hm. Paranoia moment.

In a weird bit of alignment though, I noted a few other BA's came to me for advice today. I do not know why. I wonder if it is because I am old. Therefore "venerable". It is very strange. 

Fazzy does not treat me as venerable. She was in the office today and was as delightful as ever. I love how we always instantly slip right back into our work marriage like we've never been apart. She is EXCITED right now because she's seen a house she wants to buy. But SAD because Zay has gone away FOR A WHOLE NIGHT to camp.

"My BABY!" she wailed. Then I gave her chocolate cake and she recovered.

After caking with Fazzy, I went for coffee with Emma. It is weird that I have not done this before. She is Shenée's second-best friend* and so Shenée told me off for not having introduced myself before now.

So I introduced myself to her yesterday. "Shenée is mad at me," I started, by way of introduction. 

"Yes, I thought it was weird we haven't spoken before," replied Emma. 

She was far too busy to have coffee with me yesterday (she is quite senior) so I took her today instead. When we sat down we found that Shenée had texted us both "talking points" to help break the ice. 

"This is hilarious," said Emma. "And for some reason I'm supposed to say the word 'Hamilton' to you."

For my part, I was supposed to ask Emma about her twelve year old son. And she told me this story....

EMMA'S STORY ABOUT HER SON
So Emma's son is on school holidays and the previous day had taken himself and his two mates into town. 

"What are you planning on doing?" she asked him. "I'm not having you just dangling about getting in trouble."

"Muuuuuummmm!" he protested. But he promised they were going bowling. So she agreed. 

However, being a mum she called back to find out how it was going later. It turned out they couldn't get into the bowling place so they went to the two dollar shop instead. Where they bought toy guns.

"You KNOW how I feel about toy guns!" said Emma. "They are NOT coming in the house."

"Muuuuummmmm!!" said Sam again. But he agreed.

It was after this that her husband called to say that Sam was a very good boy really and maybe they didn't have to be quite so strict with...

Oh. Wait. What's that? 

ARRESTED, you say??

Yes, it turns out that even as Emma was having this conversation with her husband about her good son, the good son was being taken to the station by officers because one of his mates had pretended to shoot the bus driver of the bus they were riding. 

"Mum!" said Sam. "I was so scared I sh*t my pants!"

"I'm sure it was very scary," replied Emma, "but really you don't have to exaggera.... Oh wait.... You mean you actually LITERALLY sh*t your pants?"

"Yes!" howled Sam. "And now my friends won't sit next to me at the station because they say I smell of poo!"

Emma reacted like any parent would in this situation: with hysterical laughter. But she pulled it back together when she went to get Sam and was of course VERY SERIOUS about the whole thing.

"But I didn't punish him any more than he already had been," she went on. "After all, he'd got such a big scare as it was. And anyway, what could be worse punishment than being called, 'Sh*t-Yer-Pants' at school for the next couple of years?"

She makes a good point. And then we had fun talking about our Shenée experiences and I can see now WHY Emma is Shenée's second-best friend. 

And when I got home tonight, it was to the welcome news that the hedgehogs are back! Not as many or as often as during the height of summer last year, but it is still very early days. 

S.

* Do you really have to ask? Do you?