Say Cheese!

Amazingly, Head Office has granted me another holiday, and as with the one in May, I have seized the opportunity to go abroad. Doris told me we were going to see Cowes, which was rather exciting - I've never visited the Isle of Wight.

But apparently he meant great big horny beasties (stop sniggering at the back) so here we are in Switzerland instead.

I am, as you know, almost a social anthropologist/travel expert, so indulge me whilst I tell you some little known truths about Switzerland. There are NO people here!!!! The country is entirely populated by cheese, coos, and chocolate. (In fact, the mountains are actually just giant Toblerones covered in snow.) You ask anyone if they've ever met a Swiss person, and they'll immediately tell you about a Lindt chocolate they ate in Lucerne, or a Raclette they wolfed down in Basel....but no mention of humans!!! Amazing, eh!

Tomorrow, we're off to Italy, where I've heard that fresh pasta is merely a rumour to lure in the tourists (the real Italians only eat turnip and chips) and that Pisa's Leaning Tower is nothing more than a block of flats with a slight list to port.

Bet you can't wait.......