Kindness

This display shows half the cards I have received, even the postman said to James yesterday ‘your dad was a really popular bloke’! Flowers  today came from the IT Care team at Deloitte’s! These came with a vase which was handy as I’m running short! Deloitte’s is the company my brother works for and they sent ME flowers. Deloitte’s are hiring, so if you’re in IT and looking for a job, I can recommend their caring! Yesterday they were from LC friends and colleagues. 

I was up at 5 again, I’m very grateful for the summer, because I know if it was winter I’d be really miserable at getting up, but as the sun was shining I cracked on with tidying and vacuuming, watering the garden pots, washing down the patios and finally walkingDog before making myself some breakfast and having a shower. 

Peter arrived a little before 11am and we had a coffee before heading off to the funeral directors so that he could say goodbye to B. I waited in the car, while he went in and read him his eulogy! 

We spent the day chatting, drinking coffee, going out for lunch and more chatting. Our lives are dominated by the circumstances but we did manage some other conversation too. The time passed quickly, and as he had a 3.5 hour drive home again he left around 5:30. As soon as he went I felt that ‘loneness’. It’s not loneliness, I don’t mind my own company, but a kind of ‘alone’. The house is quiet and almost immediately  I think of B and the stark realisation of never seeing or hearing him again hits. It’s becoming a pattern for me when people leave. Now, if you visit me I don’t want you to feel bad about leaving, because I need to have those feelings too. I need to miss him. So I went through some videos and photos, and ended up watching Peter’s 60th song that we recorded several times! 

I did the regular quiz with Daniel, we were appalling, our lowest score ever! So, gave in and came to bed!