Honk

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I am not much of a gamer. Not really. 

I think I am mentally scarred by an incident in 1998 when I went over to Fat Pete's flat in Elgin Terrace and we played Super Mario Land on his N64.

There was a puzzle game where you have to catch a rabbit. That rabbit eluded me and eluded me. It started out comical then it became tragic. 

That rabbit still haunts my dreams.

So apart from slow-moving strategy games where quick reflexes are not required, I have eschewed PC games. 

BUT

TODAY

I was skimming through YouTube when I came across a review of a game called Untitled Goose Game.

In this game, you play the part of an EVIL GOOSE who revels in causing mayhem, stealing things, flapping at people and knocking over children.

IT IS THE BEST GAME EVER.

I have spent the day tormenting a poor gardener. Stealing his keys, stealing his hat. Turning on his sprinkler when he's in the vegetable patch. Getting him to hit his thumb with a hammer by doing an extra-loud HONK at the right moment. Throwing his lunch into the duck pond.

THROWING EVERYTHING INTO THE DUCK POND. 

It turns out that if I were a goose, I would be like the RONNIE BIGGS of geese. I should be ashamed. But I am not. 

I LOVE being a goose.

Honk.

S.