Stenhousemuir Nil

Weeks before I moved to Scotland from Wales in 1996, I had no idea where Stenhousemuir was, then I found myself living here. The place is famous UK wide, but most English and Welsh folk are as ignorant as I was.

The reason Stenhousemuir is as well known as Colemans Mustard is because of this little football club. As far back as I can remember, James Alexander Gordon has been reading the football results at 5pm on a Saturday afternoon. When I told my friends I was moving to Stenhousemuir, without exception I saw the smirk of instant recognition followed by "where's that then?"

I turned up on a wet October night - just me and my dog Bob (long gone) and a small van with all my worldly goods and we settled into a little bedsit - one with a pull down bed. I'd moved from my little welsh slate cottage to this flat with central heating, a fridge, a shower.. seemed like luxury. There were even supermarkets nearby .. no more monthly trip to Caernarfon. I went mad - shopping every day until the novelty wore off. It was weird.. everyone knew my business in Wales, but I lived here for 6 months and nobody even noticed me move in or leave.

I still haven't been to a Warriors game though. They beat Ayr 4-0 at home last week.