No Ugly Skin

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I went to the office today and was delighted to find both Corrie and Ellie there too. 

We talked a fair amount about poop. Ellie, as you may recall, is freshly recovered from a bad case of the bum wees and so I regaled the group with the story of the time I had the bum wees and found myself lying on a laminate floor, without the strength to crawl to the toilet, just spewing and thinking, "Oh well, at least it's laminate, I can come back to it later."

And then Jasper came and meowed and meowed and meowed at me until I was nearly in TEARS asking him to please go away and then I farted and pooped in my pants. 

"And I remember thinking, 'this is my life, this is who I am now,'" I told Corrie and Ellie. 

Ellie responded by telling us about breast-feeding. It turns out she is still lactating a little bit despite stopping a while back. "I had an itchy boob in the shower and so gave it a scratch and squirted all over the wall," she told us. 

I was fascinated. "Do they ITCH?" I asked. 

"Oh honey," she said. "It IS sort of itchy. It's like having glitter dropped on your boobs when you are producing. But then your boobs swell to the size of a melon and it hurts like f*ck."

She then told us about the time she "popped a tit" in a fancy restaurant because Aubrey was hungry and she didn't know what else to do. "The wait staff didn't know WHERE to look," Ellie confessed. "Afterward AJ gave me a high-five - 'You did the thing! You popped the tit!'" she said, imitating AJ's voice. 

We have THE BEST conversations at work. 

We went for lunch together after that. And Corrie got this special therapeutic drink for your skin. I think I may need to order myself a crate. 

I love hanging out with these two. They are so smart and funny and just lovely in all ways. Ellie thanked me for a lovely day as she left, and I thanked her back. 

This is so weird. I used to HATE work. WTF happened?

S.