Once Bitten . . .

Saw this giant guy at the African curio market near my Joburg hotel this morning. Thought I'd buy him as a surprise gift for Jools. But I changed my mind when I remembered the last such occasion when I bought a giant crocodile made of metal shavings (no, it was really a wonderful work of art; honest). Alex, an artist pal, wrapped it up in cardboard so firmly taped together that it stood to attention by my side without a hint of movement.

No problem at the airport, just a few surprised looks when I told the lady at the check-in desk what was in the parcel. Bloody thing cursed me, though. The lady was so obsessed with the croc that she sent my suitcase round the world half a dozen times, before it finally arrived in Toronto a couple of days after I'd left for another business trip to Europe.

I resolved never to take anything that wouldn't fit in hand luggage since; don't think I'll make an exception this trip, either . . . sorry, Jools, it'll have to be another diamond ring . . .