Shenée-ing It Up

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

This is Erica. She is the project coordinator on my new project and I made her use the Surface Hub because people seem afraid of it. 

As you can see, I am an EXCELLENT teacher. "Smile! Damn you! Smile!" I commanded* so that I could use her for propaganda purposes. 

As you may recall, I have been nervy about moving to another project. This last year has been such a blast and I have been terrified of slipping back into the way things were before, where work is a drudge and a drain.

So I've been thinking and thinking and thinking about how Shenée did what she did, to turn us from a project team into friends and then from friends into family. 

I am not the only one. Apparently Laura (new PM) asked Ellie how Shenée did it. And I can understand her curiosity. I'm sure people in the office think Project Gromit are like cult members. We laugh a lot and we HUG each other when we meet. It must seem weird. I mean it IS lovely. I love it. Don't get me wrong. But it IS weird.

I asked Ellie how SHE thought Shenée did it. "Shenée made sure everyone had a place at the table and that everyone felt valued and everyone was heard," said Ellie. 

This is true. And as Ellie pointed out to me, when she discovered someone was  a bit quiet and shy she would make that person her focus until they felt comfortable. A particularly shy fellow named Jason was the focus of just such a charm-offensive last year. When Shenée left, he was really upset. It's the most vocal I ever heard him.

For me though I think it boils down to this. She made friends with all of us. I'm making it sound more calculated than it is. Certainly Shenée knew what she was doing, and she knew it would help to build a team, but I think she also couldn't help herself doing it anyway. 

What I think surprised even her is the exponential effect that making friends with us all had. Becoming friends with her made it easy for all of us to become friends with each other as well. And from there it was a short step to genuinely caring about each other too - inside and outside work. 

I think that was the happy accident part. Shenée started something that went somewhere she never expected. She still seems amazed and delighted by what happened. She told me it's the best thing she ever did. 

But how DO you replicate that? I decided to try out some of Shenée's techniques on Laura and Erica and the rest of the team. Now I can't be exactly like Shenée because a) she is pretty unique and b) she can be a bit polarising - some people just never got her.

Nevertheless I have tried to do the following from the Shenée handbook:

- Be familiar with people right from the start
- Let people see your personality and **** 'em if they don't get it
- Don't talk only about work - learning about family and pets and hobbies is way more important than documents and deliverables. 
- Make an effort to remember all their details and follow up. Ask them how their kid's party went or if they enjoyed their holiday.
- Encourage them to be themselves and let them know that the unusual parts of their personality are the parts you like best. 

Shenée told me that she would ask non-work questions and try to engage people about their hobbies and passions to see if they were "willing to play" as she put it. So I tried it myself and if they are willing, then I know I can go further and try and befriend them.

It's a little bit scary, putting myself out there the way she does. But it does surprisingly yield results. Not that I can see this new team hugging anytime soon, but I sense people loosening up already. Erica, in particular, seems like she is willing to play. All I need is three or four more Ericas and we can really start having fun. 

Keep your fingers crossed for me. If this works, the next thing you know I will be giving TED talks on how to "Shenée" your office. And if you end up getting hugged by your co-workers then "you're welcome". 

S.

* I didn't really. She actually did seem to enjoy the experience.