Flat!

There are two things that people tend to know about Orkney.

1) We get a lot of wind.

2) We have bugger all trees.

These two facts are intertwined... the trees don't grow very big (if at all) because of the wind... the wind is much worse because we don't have the shelter of the trees.

Today we have a force 9 gale in progress. It has actually been a beautiful sunny day as you can see from my pic. What you can't see is the force of the wind.

Now, the lack of trees is sometimes a good thing. In a strong wind you don't need to worry about flying branches or roads blocked by fallen trunks. Pretty much everything here blew away a long time ago so all you have to worry about is hanging on to the surface of the planet and watching out for the odd falling roof slate or family pet which wasn't tied down.

So today I didn't bother too much about the wind I jumped into the car and headed off... crunch, grind, bump, bump screetch from the front wheel. Thought I had a puncture. I grumped my way out of the car to find not a puncture but a very wild and tangled roll of chicken wire attacking my front tyre. It had been blown from the veg garden, over the yard and I had reversed over it which resulted in it being wrapped around the wheel and other sticky out bits of the car.

At moments like these our yard is a bit like space... no-one can hear you scream!!!

OK, how do you extract a small car from a tangle of chicken wire in a force 9 gale? For those who have never worked with chicken wire it is nasty evil stuff... jaggy bits all over and more springy than Tigger.

Answer.... take a heavy 2m plank and use it to batter the chicken wire flat. In cases where wire is far beneath the car this requires you to lie down on ground and attempt to squish the wire with the length of the plank. Plank can also be used (in expert hands) to tease chicken wire from around all those corners and pipes and whatnots that are usually out of sight and out of mind.

Once chicken wire is flat as a pancake and dead enough that it wont jump up and grab the wheel, you drive off as fast you can.... don't, no matter what, look back!