Aftermath

Strava Day 205/75 Hard Off Phase Day 23. Three liters, reading and outdoor exercise done. Now ready for the last strength training session at the gym before Coach E's Holiday break.
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This morning, I decided to go outside earlier than usual but all the neighbors' dogs were unleashed and were barking loudly that I initially went back home with the thought that if I do not get an outdoor Blip entry for my 5:55 photo series it is fine. Two things to note is that I was not anxious when the dogs started barking, it might seem funny for some to know that I usually talk to the street dogs telling them I will not harm them so will they please stop barking. This is progress for me since twenty years ago when I hear a dog's bark, I would shout at the top of my lungs. 10 years ago, I would tremble and call for help. This morning, I just stood at a spot and for a minute, just let the dogs bark and observed. Another thing is the decision to go a different route, not looking at the time but trusting that if I do not get a good 5:55 shot, it's fine as it is basically just a prompt/guide for me.
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Am dressed and ready for today's strength training at the gym. Nine more days before I "graduate" this year without a major manic-depressive episode. Am no longer looking at muriatic acid as a possible way to go. I no longer feel the need to escape and I no longer feel like a failure just because I am living in a small town. Remembering a supposed Marcel Proust quote: One does not need to seek new landscapes rather one
should develop better eyes. This town may not be a tourist spot or may not be listed as anything under the best of something but there are so many things unfolding daily that is equally filled with color, line and shade as any other place.
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Unrelated but still want to remember the sweetest thing said last night when he pointed to the heavy-set girl in a photo he was editing in Lightroom. He told me he wishes I had the confidence of that girl. It reminded me of a line in David Nicholl's One Day (book and film): You're gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence.
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Featured photo is a scene after the "Simbang Gabi." To spare you the Google search, it is a nine day tradition/devotional mass held in anticipation of Christmas observed by Filipino Catholics. I have wanted to take a few photos while there are still some lights on but the dogs did not let me do that today. I might try again tomorrow if I get to fully overcome my fear.
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Here's to you finding something worth getting up for. Have a good one!