Enjoy - but it could all go wrong

Once upon a time I think we were allowed to enjoy ourselves without knowing we could be sued, end up in prison or die a horrible death. Cricketers wore boxes but not crash helmets, and we could pop open Champagne bottles without prior written permission from a lawyer. In work we are not allowed to have good old-fashioned 'bring and buy' sales of cakes and brownies because someone could die. Prevention of nut allergies, other food allergies and all sorts of illnesses prevent the fundraising tool as we cannot know if the cupcakes were made in the most pristine of conditions.

And so it is with heart-shaped sky lanterns. They look fantastic in our skies, beautiful as they rise and light up the night. The range of instructions is quite staggering, from the 'duh, really' to the 'duh, seriously'. We should for example have a fire extinguisher handy, warn the coastguard lest they be mistaken for distress signals. We should also, and this is a direct quote, 'contact the local authority or fire service for a risk assessment on the location of launch'. Further, again a direct quote, inappropriate use 'may make you liable for criminal charges or civil claims for damages.' 'Do not launch within five miles of an airport or airfield' is a tad worrying, particularly if I'm an air passenger and my pilot mistakes a lantern for anything other than what it is.

So far, so off-putting, but if all that wasn't enough, we are even warned about the dangers of the plastic bag packaging. It may be all just a wee bit over the top, but I get it all, and despite having two in the house, I won't be risking a prison sentence by letting them off this evening, not even as a Blipfoto experiment.