Licky Chips

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

I have mentioned Caro's wrist pain in the occasional blip, but I haven't given much detail for the simple reason that it remains something of a mystery.

Sometimes it manifests in one hand, then the other. Sometimes it travels right up her arm. This has been going on for at least two years now. 

She has had all sorts of tests, with contradictory and confusing results. While some illnesses have been suggested by the results, nothing is conclusive. 

It is an enigma.

But this week she went to see a pain specialist who works for the All-Blacks amongst others. He turned out to be a very eccentric little man, whose feet dangled off the floor when he sat back in his chair, and who sported an earring. 

He explained he would be injecting cortisone for the pain, directly into her wrist, using an ultrasound to avoid hitting bone. And if that makes you go, "ooya" well quite right too. Caro was advised to lie back. 

"In case I faint, right?" she asked.

"It's a possibility," agreed Pain Specialist. 

Caro was aided by a sympathetic nurse who talked Caro through the whole thing. What she didn't know is that Caro HATES chat when she is in pain.

"I just wanted to tell her to shut the f*** up, but she was so nice," said Caro.

So the first injection went in. Caro gripped the chair. "LLLLORDY!" she said.

"Lordy?" said Pain Specialist.

"I didn't know if I was allowed to swear," said Caro.

"Of course you can f***ing swear," said Pain Specialist.

In went the second injection.

"Mother-F***ER!!!" said Caro.

"THAT'S more like it!" said Pain Specialist and then he gave Caro a Barbie plaster for being a good girl.

"So how long does this last?" asked Caro.

"How long...?" replied Pain Specialist.

"When do I have to come and see you for another bunch of injections?" she sighed.

"Why would you want to do that?" asked Pain Specialist.

"For when this stuff wears off," said Caro.

"Oh!" said Pain Specialist. "It NEVER wears off. That's it. For life. You're done."

So Caro came home very happy. We don't actually know if this is really the end of it, because we don't know what "it" is. But right now, she says she feels a lot better.

This is unlike poor Feefs, who was supposed to be visiting us this weekend, but ended up having to isolate after she and The Nipper came down with coviddy symptoms. She now thinks that it was just hayfever, but it scuppered all her plans and left her in a bad mood.

The principal cause of the mood was the long wait to get tested. She did not call ahead to book (she thought it was a turn-up and get tested place but it was not). As a result, she was feeling ill, hot, irritable and bothered by the time she got home.

"All I want is to curl up in bed with licky chips," I overheard her saying to Caro on the phone. 

I had to ask.

"Licky chips???" I said. 

I wondered if it was her new nickname for her husband.

It turns out that it is an ultra-hot, ultra-spicy flavour of Dorito which is so hot she has to lick the spice off first before she can eat them. Hence she has renamed them "licky chips". 

Hmmmm... I feel I should give these licky chip things a go. One moment....

Yow! Those are HOT!

Lordy.

S.