A Whonow Up The Wotsit

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

It occurred to me that you have never properly met Lemon. Here she is, after drinks with me in Porirua yesterday.

I told her I was doing selfies now, following encouragement from my work wives at Kāinga Ora. 

"Don't you compare me to those others," she replied. "They need to know their place."

I should also explain the facial hair. It is Movember, and I got talked into it by April. She is hard to resist. I was trying to grow a Lemmy when this photo was taken but it was turning out shite because the bits on my chin are WHITE and just disappear. So I have now shaved those parts off and think I now look like General Kitchener or Theodore Roosevelt.

"You look like my dad," said Caro. What does she know?

Lemon's chat, as always, was great fun. You may remember that she had an issue with The Boy and his swearing. He gets it from his dad, so the family had agreed that he could ONLY swear if it was at his dad. He seems okay with this, but there are occasional slips.

"I was driving the other day, and a car was right up behind me with his headlights on," Lemon told me. "It was really annoying and I said, 'There's a bloody idiot right up my backside'."

All was quiet, then a little voice piped up.

"Is there a f*cking idiot up your @rsehole, Gwanny?"

"Is there a WHAT?!?"

"A f*cking idiot up your @rsehole? Isn't that what you said?"

Lemon explained it was most certainly NOT what she had said. And also made a mental note to have a meaningful chat with her son. 

She also organised a Zoom chat so her niece could tell all of the elderly relatives how she graduated college.

"Education is very big in our family. It's seen as a real achievement," said Lemon. "And Shannon wanted to announce it to everyone."

But things did not go as planned. "Old people and technology," sighed Lemon.

"You. You there," said one of the aunties, ignoring Shannon's speech. "Why don't you come and visit me anymore?" 

The auntie was addressing an elderly man. He complained that he was in Auckland. 

"So?" continued the auntie. "My sister is in Gisborne. She still visits."

"He's in LOCKDOWN, auntie," added Lemon.

"Bah!" said the auntie. 

And this then kicked off a whole old-person discussion about illnesses and resentments and That Time You Said That Thing.

"At first we tried to remind them it was supposed to be about Shannon," Lemon said. "Then it was just so hilarious we started recording it. We're going to put it on YouTube."

So that was Friday. A fun day with my MPI work wife. 

I daren't tell her about YOU, Princess.

S.