My new best friend

I’ve b******d my back, again:-(
Just when I thought it was almost recovered. I tried to push back the dining chair that I was sitting in so that I could stand. Once the agony subsided enough for me to speak, the air turned quite blue.
Cameras and pc are upstairs. To minimise stair use, today’s blip was taken with my (not apple) phone and posted from my iPad, accompanied by more Anglo Saxon English.