Chapters

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

Chapter 1 - Planning and Logistics
I went into work today and spent the morning doing useful things like putting maps and addresses and photos onto sheets for our installers. I'm a helpful chap.

But at noon Shenée took me out on a date! It was all The Dude's* fault. He'd been to see this film called Lamb and had been raving about it. And so now Shenée wanted to see it too. 

I was less enthused, but hey. It's a film. I like to keep an open mind, and a date with Shenée is always fun. 

Chapter 2 - The Unbearable Darkness of Shearing
The film. It was split into chapters. Much like today's blip. But oh my dear effing god. It was so depressing. A tone of foreboding and looming tragedy hung over every frame. I found myself with my hand over my mouth at the sheer bleakness of it all. 

If I were to summarise the message of the film (for me) it would be "life is harsh and we are clinging only precariously to small scraps of happiness that will soon be snatched away leaving us in a void of hopelessness".

Shenée's take was quite different. For her, it was an inspiring tale of overcoming differences, and treating animals kindly to find happiness in accepting small blessings.

We saw two very different films. And please note I am not saying I am right and Shenée is wrong. Just I left the film feeling like I'd been hit with a plank while Shenée happily walked through the city with me and shopped for handbags. 

I did actually have a very nice time. Shenée is a hoot and every day working for her is a blessing, as I cling precariously to work-happiness.

Chapter 3 - The Big Lebowski
"Eff's sake Jeff, now I need a drink," I told The Dude when I got back to the office. So we knocked off early and went to the bar on the ground floor.

He is a very interesting fellow, and a fellow cinephile so we talked mainly about movies. He's only a few years younger than me too, so we also have similar cultural references which is an effing relief after months of working with people who think "classic rock" means Hootie and The Blowfish. 

He used to want to act and so spent years travelling around the USA. He ended up at Disney World in Florida where he donned various outfits and entertained the people there, mainly being the Safari Adventure driver. He's got heaps of cool stories as you may expect. Because he loves movies, he loves home cinema, which is how he transitioned into becoming an A/V guy.

But then he had to go and meet his partner, which is probably just as well as I hadn't eaten and was getting quite drunk. However we did make a date at his for a barbecue which is great because Caro is going to LOVE The Dude. 

Chapter 4 - The Return of Maggoty Robyn
Actually, Caro did meet The Dude very briefly. I bumped into her coming out of the train station just as Jeff was going in. He said hello and goodbye and was then gone. 

The reason Caro came into town was for Tiger's birthday drinks. We met up with him at The Birdcage in town, with a bunch of his ex-colleagues, his sister and his mum, and also Joshua. The banter was, as usual, extremely highbrow. Tiger told us about the time he got some beetroot beer for a camping trip which freaked everyone out.

"I found BLOOD in my stools!" said camper after camper after visiting the facilities.

"After a while it was like, 'blood in your stool? aw yeah, beetroot beer'," said Tiger.

Then Tiger's friend Maggoty Robyn showed up and entertained us with her stories. 

This time her theme was "How To Sneak P*ss Into Venues" and she told us how the "cheeky b*stards" at The Basin Reserve cricket ground charged TWELVE BUCKS MAN for "less than a pint!" so she worked with a group of mates to find a place that sold flagons of beer and then threw them over "the sweet spot" in the fence. She said the plan worked perfectly except that passing traffic were shouting, "LEGEND!!!" and pipping their horns at her, which attracted attention and she had to leg it. 

Tiger said, "Remember that time they found a keg BURIED at the Basin?" to which Robyn replied, "I KNEW the bloke who did that!! Phil the Māori! It was Phil!"

It turns out that Phil the Māori and his mates sneaked into the Basin the night before the match, then spent TWO HOURS cutting away turf neatly, digging a hole big enough to conceal an entire KEG, leaving the tap barely exposed and marking the spot so they could find it again.

Robyn shook her head. "I'm amazed he thought all this up," she marvelled. "Old Phil wasn't too bright."

The next day, Phil and his mates found their marker, covered the tap with a hat and enjoyed that day's cricket. "It took the groundsmen WEEKS to find that keg," said Robyn. "And it was so legend they put it on the news."

And that was my day. I was actually effing exhausted by the end of it. I'd been awake since 4am (cats). Caro and I left at 9 and got back to Paraparaumu by 10:45. 

But it was a good day, spent with my lovely wife and old friends and new friends. Maybe happiness is not as precarious as I thought.

S.

* This is my new blipname for Jeff the American. He is our A/V guy from the installers and just a lovely bear of a man, with flowing locks. 

It is probably culturally biased of me to assume that all Americans with accents and long hair and beards are Lebowskis but that is what I have decided.