Long on time

Through some minor miracle, I’ve recently completed 5 years service with my current employer. 

I have no idea how as there have been some incredibly testing times, including a couple of rounds of redundancies where some really good people have been let go, and yet somehow, somehow I’ve managed to slip under the radar (I think my manager has an awful lot to do with that.) The reward for that dumb luck, tremendous amounts of ensuing stress and showing loyalty of the same structural integrity as a house of cards in a hurricane? £50 of love2shop vouchers.

I am being cynical, of course. There is no need for them to recognise my length of service at all, and it was a nice gesture. So then, what to do with this sudden softbreezefall? There are no investment vehicles piquing my interest, the secret account in the Cayman Islands is already full, no trees in the yarden under which to bury the vouchers and mattresses already stuffed with foam and god knows what else Matty has randomly picked up, I elected instead to combine this gift with other vouchers I’ve accumulated from work over the course of the pandemic and realised I had a nice little sum.  

I’ve spent a large part of my adult life coveting a fancy pair of Nike Air Max trainers, but being a father (and husband at various points) with mouths to feed, have never been able to justify the expense. Who did I think I was? Jerry Seinfeld? Really? Now in my fifth decade and armed with a clutch of gift cards, I’ve finally treated myself to a pair of fancy kicks which have cost me no more than a mere five years of my life and the nett sum of £15. Bargain.

The unfortunate thing is that having waited so long, I am probably now far too old to be wearing such cool things on my feet, but also with age comes a declining amount of care about what others think.

Take it, Paolo!