Rihannapants

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

Momentous news. 

I BOUGHT CLOTHES FOR CARO!

Unheard of,  you may say! And you would be RIGHT!

I am not even allowed to buy clothes for myself, so this was a bold move on my part and well done me, if I may say so myself.

The backstory to all this is that Caro owns a pair of what she calls, "bumpants". These are pants whose only real purpose in life is to be worn when you are sitting on your bum. Hence the name.

Her favourite bumpants are stretchy leopard print ones. They are SO her favourites that they are starting to look a bit sad. Scratch that. A bit OBSCENE. If she leans over at a certain angle... well... you can see things that really a boy person should not see outside of the marital bedroom if you catch my drift.

But she LOVES her leopard print bumpants. 

I knew drastic action was required to separate her from them. So, as a special secret treat, I went online to look for CELEBRITY BUMPANTS.

Fortunately for me, there is such a thing. I checked out Kim Kardashian's bumpants, Ashley Stewart's bumpants and Heidi Klum's bumpants. And honestly they were all rubbish because they were for twig-shaped people despite the protestations of the celebrity designers that they "celebrated the female form".

Celebrated the female form, me arse. And arses is really what we are talking about here. Fortunately for me, Rihanna puts her money were her bumpants is. She had an extensive range of pants for bums of all sizes. 

And so today, my lovely wife was delighted to receive TWO pairs of RihannaPants in the mail. A purple pair and a - well - whatever this pair is. I chose them! I got the size right and everything! And she LIKES them!

Yay me!

I do not know if this marks the retirement of the leopard print bumpants. In a way I will be sad to see them go. Especially when Caro leans just a certain way and...

But no. I've said too much.

S.