Peace Out MF's!!

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

Today was the first day of Caro's holiday, and so I escorted her on the train into town this morning, as she headed for the airport to catch the plane to Tauranga.

On the way, she showed me some of the texts she had been exchanging with her now ex-recruitment colleagues. Because YESTERDAY WAS HER LAST DAY AS A RECRUITER!!

WOOOHOOOO!!

She looked SO happy this morning. 

Her colleagues were sending her lots of warm messages, wishing her in luck in her new job and expressing sadness that she was leaving the New Zealand desk. She was very gracious in her replies. 

At first.

However, her final message was simply, "PEACE OUT MOTHERF*CKERS!!!" 

Which made me laugh. 

I had a really good day at work today. I explained, "Is It On The Trolleh?" to Shenée and even got the chance to use it on the slithery manager. She has been having no luck getting some installation dates out of him so I offered my services. My conversation with him went like this:

ME: Hi Spence! We'd really like a meeting with you, and your installers to discuss dates.
SPENCE: Well, it's not as simple as that because of reasons.
ME: Great! So if I could just get the name of your installers I'll set up that meeting.
SPENCE: I'll need to speak to Paul first.
ME: Great idea! I'll invite him to the meeting too! Nice idea Spence!
SPENCE: No, but you see there's a commercial arrangement.
ME: Ooh I know, I know. We are TOTALLY on the same page, Spence! Hearing you loud and clear! So can I just get the name of your installers and I'll set this thing up! We'll have it sorted in no time!
SPENCE: But, you see, because of covid...
ME: Hey - thanks for that Spence, because Spence you know Spence, I've been worried about that too. What we really need is a meeting with your installers and we can work it out together! 
SPENCE: I really think you should clear this with Paul first.
ME: Great idea! I'll call him now and then I'll get the installer names from him instead! Happy to facilitate Spence! Thanks Spence!

Shenée was BESIDE herself. She's never seen me Mike someone before. She did a happy dance and giggled like a schoolgirl. 

"I EFFING LOVE THIS TEAM!!" she roared. 

I then offered my sage advice to Fazzy, who is having issues with Project Bumpaddle, the project that had me trapped a few months ago. She was recently accused of being "too nice" by that manager, who - meanwhile - is overloading her with work from OTHER projects that are nothing to do with her.

"He's right," I said. "You ARE too nice. Why do you give him stroppy instead?"

And so Fazzy and I are going to work together to write a REALLY effed-off email that threatens all sorts of dire consequences unless something is done. "This will be FUN!" I told her. "Managers love a crisis, so let's give them one!"

"And I can sign off 'Peace Out Motherf*ckers'," suggested Fazzy. Who had clearly been listening to my stories of Caro earlier in the day.

Later still Shenée insisted that I rename the spreadsheet where I was capturing all the installation data. We typically name our spreadsheets after animals, because it is cute and makes them a bit more memorable. 

"Please name this one, Mango Taniwha*," she requested.

I thought about this. 

"I've heard you talking to Ellie," I said. "I know full well that is a codename for your vagina."

"I know, right?!" she replied cheekily. "I nearly managed to get my vagina in there."

"I know full well you were trying to sneak your vagina past me," I scolded. 

But again. Delighted with herself. So I renamed the damn thing after her foof. It seemed only fair. 

S.

* Great White Shark.