Seeing The Light

A tentative return! It's been quite a while I know! An article I read this week sums up the last few months /last year! It was about the Buddhist 5 Hindrances! Seeking solace in sensual pleasures ( eating, shopping, sleeping, watching TV...), anger, apathy, worry, doubt. I read it and went oh yes- thats me! The way out of this is being mindfull when they occur, dis-identifying - recognising they are temporary states of being, self-compassion. To sum up I have been using all 5 hindrances, in particular apathy for life,  to cope with my physical state - which is daily digestive issues leading to daily pain, which then makes me anxious and recently I can feel the panic attacks closing in on me. I've had more tests, all came back fine, so IBS again is the default reason. I can honestly say that if it were not for Oscar and the hens I would not be leaving the house due to the discomfort and pain and the fear I am going to collapse due to it. 
 So my way out of this apathy starts with a 6 week course of hypnotherapy and reading through an app called Nerva! I have also now had my second Covid jab so I have no excuse for not meeting up for social events! 

So yesterday I joined the Wild swimmers on their weekend swim! They usually go to the coast but recently they have been adding rivers to their itinerary, so it was to the Tamar further upstream from where it flows through Calstock.  Oscar was delighted with the new woodland walk and the company of Kelly and his  mum Ginger! The group were not certain the swim would be advisable given the heavy rain and when we got to the part accessible it was a definite no! The river was swollen, dirty and fast and various unidentifiable things were being carried along with the flow! So it was decided to head for the quarry on Kit Hill! It was decidedly colder than the sea they are used to swimming in! Oscar got really upset seeing them enter the water - as he was the last time I accompanied them to Lansallos on the south Cornwall coast a couple of months ago! He only paddles in water himself and gets freaked out seeing other dogs play in it. The sight of Kelly and other humans going in sent him into a frenzy of barking and whining!! Once they were out he calmed down until another dog arrived and proceeded to run in and out retrieving a stick! His owner said he had rolled in fox poo so was cleaning him off. But she stayed for far longer than a simple wash off required and oscar was again beside himself. I must admit to feeling pretty pissed off with her as it was evident my dog was not happy! 
 The rainbow appeared as we made our way back to the cars - I just love how they appear with the Autumn season!