my 1st sp...

...today

on another cold, blustery day...

as i march steadily onwards towards my 1000 blip - i got to thinking that i'd yet to do an sp (self-portrait)... for me they're scary - intimate - revealing - exposing - blah... blah... blah... i do a lot of talking about experimenting - doing different - being creative and all the rest - but when it comes to taking the leap - that step into a self-portrait, i balk... the little hairs on the back of my neck go up - i wanna turn around and run - i feel like a deer caught in the headlights... i almost feel like a fake - boo!

well - for whatever reason - i woke up this morning - looked in the mirror and said "self - today's the day..." and i've spent the rest of the day making myself sick about it - why is that, i wonder? what's going to happen? are my insecurities so great - so big - that by posting a picture of my face on blip, i somehow think the world may come to a screeching halt? or people may turn and run? okay - that made me laugh... our fears really make us turn into such blithering idiots - one of my major reasons for today being the day - was because i could finally look at myself and recognize cheekbones again - i've been working at weight loss you see - and i believe my face has gotten to the point where you can actually see some definition again - i was just a tad thrilled... no one can take that away from me - not even my silly fears - posting an sp seemed so much bigger than that - at least to me - for today... it feels like one small step to moving forward in breaking down some walls - with regard to self-image... i'm certain there's someone who can identify with me - i no longer want it to get the best of me -

so here i am... in my 1st sp - just me - a little bit of me - as a start - a beginning to breaking through - being free - and therefore allowing me to have...

a

happy day.....