Seven

Fergie (my dad) phoned at lunchtime. 'Is your mother becoming senile?' he asked. 'She called me yesterday to ask if I was still alive! I mean, I'm not as sharp as I used to be, but I'm pretty sure I'd notice if I'd popped off recently!'

"Ah.' I said. 'That might be my fault.'

'Well yes. She said that your friend Evadne had told her.'

'It wasn't Evadne, it was Evangeline. She thinks you're in the spirit world.'

'What....like working for Oddbins?'

'No! Like..... dead.'

'Oh. Right.' He paused for a moment. 'So what does Evadne think?'

'There IS no Evadne!! She doesn't exist!'

'Oh poor thing. So she's dead too?'

I gave up at that point. As H might say, 'parentibus meis sunt latratu'.