River walk

We planned to walk along the Great Ouse Relief Channel from Downham Market to the Jenyns Arms near Salters Lode, but we hadn’t accounted for the wet weather. We’d already bought our tickets on the Trainline rather than relying on the flaky ticket machine, so we had to go. Plan B was to wander the streets of Downham Market then go to the pub.

When we got to Downham Market, we looked at the route: unfavourable and very grey. Plan B it was.

We saw a fancy clock, some pretty buildings and some fancy buildings, a house that possibly maybe had a connection with religion according to its green plaque, and the village sign (see extras). I think it must have been a fairly rich market town back in the day.

One pub we saw looked very localsy, so neither of us fancied it. We went into another one that was very olden-days’ coaching inn, which also had a locals’ air about it. You could tell the locals by the way one punter’s dog treated people: tail wagging and attention-seeking for the locals; funny looks for everyone else.

After that, we went to the Wetherspoon’s pub, where no one turned to stare at us when we walked in, the toilets weren’t roped off, the prices were reasonable, the range of drinks was broad and where Covid protections were in place. We sat outside under a high-tech canopy and enjoyed some of their reasonably priced beverages.

On the train home, we decided that if I ran all the way home in under x minutes, we’d get takeaway pizza for tea. Bear in mind my legs were already stiff from doing parkrun in under 40 minutes, thanks to some lovely lasses behind me.

We had takeaway pizza for tea. But not until we found Mr Pandammonium’s phone.

It wasn’t in his pockets or in his bag. I told him to blong it from his watch, but the button was greyed out: out of range. I looked on my Find My app to see where it was. It said it was close. But where?

Just in case, I used my phone to mark his phone as lost, securing it against fraudulent use and displaying a message to anyone who found it saying to phone me.

We decided to go and retrace our steps to see if we could find it. We got to the end of the drive and saw an oblong on the road reflecting the streetlights. Picking it up, it displayed a message saying to phone my number.

That’s what happens when you encourage someone to do a sprint finish with a phone in your back pocket.

Mr Perkins runs away from people doing sprint finishes.