A Bee, finger and an ancient but true tale.

This morning the Garden fairy helped me with the dozens of bumblers using our Lavender larder. By placing a drop of honey on her fingernail a bee was coaxed, nearly completely, from his fun and games. I was a bad lad and assured her they will not sting; well they won’t unless provoked or cornered. 

If you are of a slightly sensitive nature look away now; Marine humour almost at it’s apex. Cast your mind to “It Ain’t half hot Mum.”

Matt Stevenson, a lad who lived on camp, an inlyer. His tale.

Being the only inlying Marine on the staff of the NCOs Cadre in Neesoon garrison, Singapore, 1966 I had a grass basha all to myself. However I had to get to it through the outlier’s (Married chaps) section. One day after a hot and strenuous final exercise of a Junior NCOs course I was first back to the basha and being a wee bit manky I stripped off and with towel around my waist headed for the showers. When I returned all the outliers were there playing cards and waiting for the Sgt major to give them the word “Dismiss.” I went through to my part and having dried myself off started to get dressed. For whatever reason I took a pair of clean Knicks off the shelf and unwrapping a bar of Tiffin chocolate from a ten man ration pack I started to rub the gooey mess up and down the hammock of the pants. When it was nice and gooey I walked into the the guys playing cards and said, “Look what I’ve done.” As they stared in amazement and disgust I started to pick out the curranty bits off the cloth and ate it. Brian Simmonds fell over backwards, Pony Moore and Bob Broadbent both had their shoulders wedged tight in the frame of the door and Bill Jarvis was staring so hard his googly eyes were quite prominent. None of them would come near me for several days and their wives thought I was quite the most disgusting creature that they had ever met. But it was bloody funny. 

I did warn you!!!!!