What budget?

I'm not sure I can organise what's in/on my mind into something coherent this evening.

I just have this general feeling that modern living is cruel, has unrealistic expectations and has everyone demanding too much of themselves and from life and from each other.

When I heard Jared Diamond's latest book being read out as Radio 4's Book of the Week this morning, his observations about smaller communities versus vast modern societies really resonated with me. I've thought for years that when anything gets too big things are more likely to go wrong or be unfair.

I'd rather things - societies, life, homes, schools, hospitals, businesses, etc. - were close, contained and manageable. Weirdly, I think it's easier to see the wider world and think about our impact on others when we think smaller.

I'm convinced caring and sharing is easier, better and more realistic when we ignore some of the strains and competitiveness of modern expectations.

See. I knew I'd struggle to get this down.

I guess I just want people to stop being so tough on themselves and ignore the total bollocks dumped on them by modern, questionable - yet unquestioned - social norms, the media and the "professionals" of all kinds. There is no one way to be a good citizen, but I feel sure George Osborne's phrase "Aspiration Nation" is totally unhelpful.

My day was about shopping-putting-away, washing and hanging 6 loads of washing, gardening, potting up broccoli seedlings, sowing peas, and a 40 minute stomp with Richard and the dog up over the hill. We've started taking a different route recently over fields that are less heavily grazed by cattle. It makes a big difference when you can walk through land that is given a chance to thrive instead of imposing intensive farming on it.

Everything seems to thrive better when we impose less on it. Just living and being can be hard work sometimes without the made up bollocks.

Am thinking about someone in particular this evening who has been asking too much of herself recently. I hope she gets a chance to just be and learns that that is pretty good in itself.