Fazzy Catches Crabs

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

I was sat with Fazzy and Ellie today. They both managed to make me laugh. Ellie is particularly good for poo stories. She is pretty fearless on the subject and told me a story about how she freaked out her partner by hiding in the bathroom* and giggling when she heard him starting up his "poo cycle". 

"His bum sounded like a duck quacking," she said. "I couldn't help but laugh. He was so offended that he refused to speak to me for an hour."

Meanwhile, I took Fazzy for lunch. I know she loves sea food so I decided to take her to The Crab Shack. She was very excited. 

"Symon's going to give me crabs," she announced. 

Yes, yes, I know. But it is this sort of thing that keeps the three of us amused during the work day.

However, all my plans fell apart. For some reason, The Crab Shack was closed and we ended up going somewhere else instead.

"Did Symon give you his crabs?" asked Ellie when we got back. 

"No. I didn't get crabs from Symon," replied Fazzy. 

"And yet I can still smell something fishy," replied Ellie. "YES! I WENT THERE GIRLFRIEND! WOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Ellie, lest it need be said, was quite delighted with herself. I'm only surprised she didn't do a victory lap.

And of course, Fazzy sent Caro another selfie. "Don't you [VERY BAD WORD]s ever do any work??" replied my lovely wife.

How rude. You'd think we spent the entire day talking about poos and fannies, if you paid any attention to Caro.

S.

* She was trying to finish her make-up and thought he just wanted a wee. It wasn't like she was hiding in there to catch him in the act of pooing. Ellie isn't that sort of woman.