The Perils of Ellie

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

It was day 2 of the Dry Run, and Ellie was to join us in Christchurch to gather some information for her training material. 

And so I logged in to Teams on my work laptop this morning to this:

ELLIE: OMG TAXI STORY. Corporate cabs my ass. Everyone pray I make my flight in time. 

ME: Ooooh. I love ELLIE'S TAXI STORIES.... 

ELLIE: I'm so mad I could vomit.

ELLIE: I walk out of my house at 7:02 and where is my taxi you ask? GONE. He got there at 6:50 and left at 7:02. My itinerary has him booked for 7. I called him and asked where he was and he said he was booked for 6:40 (which would mean he was late calling me at 6:50). He said he will come back and will be 2 minutes. 7:15 he gets back, spends the first few minutes making excuses and no apology and I am having NONE OF IT. I even showed him my itinerary. He then starts going on about how this will be one of life’s mysteries -  UM NO MATE, ILL BE TRACKING DOWN WHO MADE THIS STUFF UP AND YOULL BE GETTING ZERO BLOODY STARS FROM ME

ELLIE. We are now sitting in silence. I refuse to make polite conversation with someone who didn’t even apologise. I had a flipping baby on my hip at 6:50, I don’t care if he’s early. I AM THE CUSTOMER. WHERE IS YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE?!? WHERE?!? SHOW ME WHERE?!?

ME: Are you still in cab? Are you at the airport? I WILL MAKE IT BETTER. I WILL BUY YOU CHOCOLATE. AND PIZZA. AND CHOCOLATE PIZZA.

ELLIE: I’m still in the cab. And now stuck in traffic. What do I do if I miss my flight?! Do I call the travel team? Omg chocolate pizza. 

ME: From my vast experience of missing flights with Fazzy I can tell you that Air NZ will transfer you over. I don't think you SHOULD have to pay extra, but if you do I'm sure you can do something clever with expenses when you get back to Wellington. So please relaaaaaaaax. No rush. If you miss the flight, at least it was not because SOMEONE was shopping for chocolate.

ELLIE: I FORGOT MY RESCUE REMEDY*. Omg I’m going to die.

ME: WE ARE YOUR RESCUE REMEDY.

ELLIE: Gordon is on the blacklist. I never want a cab with Gordon again. More like Gor-DON'T.

ELLIE: And the worst part, THE WORST PART. Is I haven’t even had coffee yet. I don’t deserve this. Why am I here? Honestly what is the point. I’m having a tantrum.

ELLIE: Ok now my cab driver is racing like actually flooring it. he overtook another taxi. ITS A RACE TO THE GATE. 

ELLIE: This must be what the amazing race feels like

ME: I will be your Phil Keoghan!**

ELLIE: Running in heels, always a gamble

ELLIE: I MADE IT!!!!!

I shall not tell you about the rest of the day in Christchurch, even though it involved more technical triumphs, one cancelled flight and several delays. I will spare you the detail.

I'm sure after reading all that, you are emotionally exhausted. 

S.

* Herbal stress relief stuff that lives on Ellie's desk permanently.
** The host of The Amazing Race.