Keeping up with the O'Malleys

When Desmond spotted the shiny new carbon fibre sea kayak strapped to the roof rack of Leo O'Malley's Defender, he immediately turned green with envy. 
He had toyed with the idea of getting one himself but had procrastinated. There had been Molly's prize winning chrysanthemum to source in Kilkenny and plant in the rockery. And Rupert the French bulldog had had to be neutered. The sea kayak was not far down his To Do list. 
And now that O'Malley bollix had beaten him to it. 
He couldn't be seen to try and keep up with such a nouveau riche. 
No, he'd have to come up with something tasteful yet imposing. Something solid, armoured even. Something that blends in with its surroundings yet commands respect at the same time. 
Something that would dwarf Leo's pathetic little kayak. 

Then he remembered that the Irish Defence Forces where decommissioning one of their navy ships (the one with the gun actually, since they couldn't afford the ammo). He had just remembered that it was listed on eBay. Now, what was his Paypal login password again?