The County Fair is Back

After being cancelled last year due to Covid, the Oakland County Fair has returned.

Today was Senior Day. 62 and over...free admission. Since I look so young, they "carded"me at the entrance, making me prove my age. (Don't believe that last part. They didn't even hesitate.)

In addition to the admission, there was a free pancake breakfast (I had some), free bingo (didn't play), and free entertainment. This year's featured performer was a gentleman playing the accordion. Did I listen? Yes, for one song. (The horses were calling me.)

The horses were calling, and so were the organizers. They got on the P.A. system to announce...BOTH OF OUR JUDGES ARE STUCK IN TRAFFIC. DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HORSES?

I raised my hand. "I do! I do!"

"What qualifies you, sir?"

"I watched every episode of The Lone Ranger, and I can imitate the voice of the talking horse Mr. Ed."


"That's good enough. You're in. Can you at least put on a cowboy hat?'

"Sure. Where do you want me, traditional dressage, or western dressage?"

I was at the traditional arena, where there was a lot of walking, cantering, and trotting. Some really beautiful horses.

I was doing well until this young lady and her horse showed up. Look at the horses mouth. His tongue was hanging out for the entire routine. 

HOW CAN I CONCENTRATE ON JUDGING THE HORSE AND RIDER...WHEN I'M STARING AT THAT TONGUE?

She finished the course, and came to salute the judges.

I spoke up...rather loudly. "Young lady, could you please do the entire course over, and instruct your horse to keep his tongue in his mouth?"

"I've tried, but he thinks he is Michael Jordan."

"You mean to tell me that you can canter and walk and trot...but you can't train Michael to keep his tongue in his mouth?"

"That's what I'm telling you."

The other fill-in judges
thought my manners were lacking.
So they took a vote,
and sent me packing.

Plus...they took their hat back. 

(Don't believe the judging part either.) I didn't do any judging, but it was nice to be back at the fair.