Introducing...

...Stacey!

For those who might be new to my Blip-journal, I'm Stacey; 35 year old Brummie, Fundraising Assistant for an NHS charity, podcast host and general nerd. Followers of mine will be very used to my face as I am not shy of posting selfies at all, but I decided to do a bit of editing to this shot to more accurately fit the Blip Community challenge of posting an image that reveals something about yourself. I chose to skew the colours to purple here to represent a facet of my life I don't talk about too much; my asexuality. Asexuality, in its most basic terms, is the lack of sexual attraction. I'm not quiet about it, really, I just don't mention it unless it's relevant to a post or conversation I'm having, but it is actually a huge part of what makes me who I am. Being asexual (or Ace for short) can come with some challenges, most notably the feeling of being wrong or broken somehow for not feeling sexual attraction. My lack of feelings of attraction coupled with my general lack of libido had me feeling exactly that for a large portion of my formative years. Why was I not feeling this thing that, according to almost everyone ever, is an intrinsic part of the human experience? I didn't know about asexuality until my late 20s, and honestly I wish I'd known sooner because I think my self esteem and confidence was very much reduced thanks to me spending so much time thinking I was either physically or mentally ill. I discovered asexuality through a GP; I was having counselling due to work stress and the counsellor was worried when I said I was in a relationship but wasn't having sex, and recommended I see a GP. I, being an idiot, Googled 'medical issues that cause low libido' and was greeted with everything from hormone imbalances to late stage brain cancers, so I carted myself off to my GP convinced I was about to be told that I was dying. My GP very calmly explained that though some conditions can cause low libido, very few cause a lack of sexual attraction altogether, and since I hadn't had a libido/experienced sexual attraction ever, then it was unlikely I'd have had a disease since at least puberty without showing any other symptoms. Fair. She took bloods anyway just to make me feel better but casually said "You're probably just asexual." I smiled, nodded, went home and furiously Googled asexuality and honestly, I felt a weight come off my shoulders. I wasn't sick, or dying. I wasn't broken, or crazy. There were others who felt like me. I've since learnt that asexuality is a spectrum and have embraced my place on it. I'm lucky to have an amazing husband who has embraced this side of me, too.

If you want to know more about asexuality, check out this Twitter thread I did during Ace week last year, with very helpful infographics from Victoria Barron.

I do wish the Ace flag had better colours though..!