Between Reality and Dreams

It came out slightly different. I woke up in the middle of the night. Went to the balcony. But Brrr, it was rather cold. A dark sky without stars. Clearly I felt more attracted back into the warmth of Our sleepingroom. Even in the morning it took time to sit outside with my espresso. For the First time I had watered  all plants with the waterhose. It took me more time than by walking my rounds with the cans. The hose can serve now only i fit is really dry.
Very different appeared  to be my First real try to fill out Our German taxreturns in a digital way. We had tryed it out more than a year ago. I did not know my way to start it up all again. Which makes me feel dummer than dummie. This confrontation was painfull. I had to do it all by myself. Indeed, there is a Helpdesk. I can make a phonecall tomorrow morning to Our Ministerial Taxation counseler. But that is not the point.
This feeling deep down not being capable to get these primary things done. It sours. But after a teabreak on Our Balcony Coach. I tryed again and again. And look: I did find my entry to fill in my data in the different annex forms. Something went wrong so  I could not save my work. But the inner feeling that I can find the acces back again makes me optimistice for my efforts to start from near zero tomorrow.
Meanwhile my Garden work is reduced to two remaining tasks. While Mischa reassured me on the Phone this afternoon to takei t easy. Nobody will have time enough to judge if I have made a serious effort to  bring order and clean up the winter mess. Maybe but even without being  a perfectionist or order freak I  prefer to feel content about my work. We’ll see how far we come. Again I passed the falling of the night in Our Balcony coach, enjoying  the silence and the glow and smell of candlelight I wish you all  sweet dreams!