Fazzy Whānau

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

Another lovely day in the land of fuzzy bunnies and rainbow farts. Honestly, I am so sorry about this. I didn't expect my life to turn into a Disney cartoon quite so suddenly. 

However. 

This morning, Fazzy and family were in the neighbourhood. I would have loved to have them over to our house but 

a) It looks like our laundry basket exploded all over the interior and
b) Caro had announced the night before that she was SLEEPING IN and she was most unequivocal about it

Don't get me wrong, she loves Fazzy & Family but there was no way she was getting up before noon today. 

Fazzy and Shahier wanted to buy me a birthday lunch. Also to thank me for loaning* them Mario Kart. More importantly, Haniah and Zaydaan wanted to spend more time with THEEEEE BESTEST UNCLE IN THE WORLD EVAH.

I totally so completely am, by the way. I haven't had much practice since my nieces outgrew me intellectually** so it was nice to be able to spend time with little persons who find poos and bums as funny as I do. 

We had a lovely lunch together. Me and Fazzy talked about wor-

UNCLE SYMON! UNCLE SYMON! LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS!

And then I asked Shahier how he was doin-

UNCLE SYMON! UNCLE SYMON! I HAVE A JOKE! UNCLE SYMON!

But mostly I talked to Zaydaan and Haniah. They are just lovely and so smart. Telling me about animals and where they live and whether they are cold or warm blooded. I tried to pretend to be a lizard warming up, but I'm not sure my acting skills are up to the challenge. It is possible that Fazzy's kids thought I was just having some sort of fit. 

Nevertheless, they forgave me and held my hand all the way back to the car where there was a fight about who got to sit next to me. 

"I'm here too," said Fazlyn, sadly. 

Sorry Fazzy. Your kids love ME best now. 

Shahier very kindly drove me back home and Zaydaan announced he wanted to stay at my house "for 100 days!"

"But what about Mario Kart?" asked Fazzy. 

Zaydaan thought about this for 0.00001 of a second.

"I want Uncle Symon to stay at OUR house!" he countered. "For 100 days!"

Like I said. Those children are smart. 

So I am loving being an uncle again after all these years. It makes me smile inside. I mean, seriously, b*gger the lunch - that 90 minutes was the best birthday present yet. 

I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY. AAAAAARGH. I AM DROWNING YOU IN SUGAR. 

I really will try to return to my cynical grumpy self soon. 

S.

* Technically, I gave them the Wii but since Fazzy has no desire to lose one or both of her children to the console, she has told them it is "just on loan" and that Uncle Symon wants it back. Which will allow her to disassemble it and hide it in the garage for a couple of weeks before I "loan" it to them again.

** This happened when they were about 10.