Take It Easy, Man...

Obsessive perfectionism. Has it been that character default which caused me to postpone important writing, creative expressions? I would love to, but not now? Perhaps, I remember how my parents used to call me out for lazy, good for nothing, always too late, unintelligent. Then I acted indifference, but I know still very well that stomac nagging feeling to have missed my chance to get things in good order. Still know the panic and despair deep down…I really did my best…NO, you did NOT. You have messed it up!
I had been stricken down by that old mood for the last week or so. It had to do with a complex problem – at least for me – of German succession and taxlaw. Our German Notary had send me a concept notarial act, which did not correspond with the logic of the Dutch regulation we had already implemented irreversibly. I could not understand such a fundamental difference between my proposal and his concept. No correspondence at all.
Had it been on purpose? To confront me with the compulsory regulations of German succesion law? I had been so wise as to not send my written critical reaction. But made an appointment. You know, within  minutes the whole affair had been settled. The secretariat had inattentively picked a format at random and send it to me. Asking that I should carefully study the Notary’s concept..Such happens so often. No problem. I will recieve  an amended concept according to my proposal…
Ten minutes later I stood on the doorstep. Tried to inhale the fresh rainy air. With my facemask on…I felt relieved and a bit tired. All my circling thoughts, worries and anxieties for nothing? Why had I expected the work delivered to be perfect or at least reasonably in order? Take it easy, man..That’s an expression I had to learn later on. It still does not feel that easy.