Back in the Day

Ah yes, way back then. Those were the days, you tell yourself wistfully. But it's so long ago now it all seems a blur and it's hard to remember clearly. You wonder if your mind is playing tricks...was that really the way things were, or are you selectively recalling only certain parts? A faint image  emerges from the fog of memory, but never with enough clarity to be sure it's of a place you've ever been...

I'm talking about September, of course, which seems like a remarkably long time ago. 

Back then I used to take my lunches outside and eat at the bleachers pulled up against this strip of trees here. This is an odd patch of undeveloped greenery in town, next to the lot where I park my car every morning when I get to work. It was only a twenty minute break, but I would listen to a bit of some podcast or other and appreciate this big tree here while eating. Normally I would have eaten in the teacher's lounge or someplace, but during Covid times I preferred to be alone when taking off my mask to eat. I grew to really enjoy the small interlude of peace and quiet in the middle of the day

Now I never feel like I really have twenty minutes to just wander away and relax. Not that I'm needed every twenty minutes of the day, but it's just not as clear which twenty minute period might actually be free. I'm not always busy, but I always feel like I should be. So I just eat something at my desk when it's around the middle of the day and things seem quiet. I'm not as concerned about having my mask off to eat now that I've been vaccinated either, so I just try to be quick about it. Technically I'm owed a break by contract, but if I wandered out to these bleachers now I'm not sure I could actually relax. And when I came back in the re-entry could easily be jarring - it's hard to predict what might be going on when you come into my room now. 

So I'm just holding out for summer, really. Then I can have all the picnics I want. I can close my eyes right now and remember all the idyllic summer afternoons I have spent relaxing under the tall pines, breeze on my face, not a care in the world. Yes indeed, those were good times, and I'm sure they'll come again, just the way I can picture them now...or sort of picture them...I mean I was working a job last summer...but I did eat outside normally, I remember that much.