NSFW Penguin

My Dear Princess, Loulou and Fellows,

My poor little boys got taken to the vet today. They both have bad breath caused by gingivitis and so had to be anaesthetised, their teeth cleaned and one or two removed. 

Honestly. Punky's breath was so bad it could stun a horse.

I had to go into work today for a big presentation to the Steering Group so Caro had to do all of this on her own. I'm sure it wasn't easy. She said the boys complained (loudly) all the way there. But were quiet and spaced out on the way back. 

They're still a bit spacey now, actually. Poor little guys. We also got the bad news that Punky's blood samples show he is in the early stages of kidney failure (very early stages though - he's not in danger of imminent demise). So he will have to go on a special diet from next week. 

It just makes me want to hug him. But he wouldn't like that. 

As for me, it was a very busy day. The Steering Group meeting was two hours, with a lot of preparation before and a lot of discussion afterward.

I did my best to look a little bit professional. Well. For me, anyway. I eschewed the usual jeans and a t-shirt and wore black trousers and a JUMPER. It's not quite a shirt, but hey, that's as professional as I get. 

We were all overshadowed by Sam who was wearing a blue suit, that drew compliments. 

"Huh," said Gromit. "And here I am in a dress with a monkey with a hat on."

It was an unusual frock. It featured mainly trees, but in the middle was a monkey hanging from one of the limbs, wearing a fez. 

Afterward, she went back to sourcing pictures. Technically this is my job but she LOVES looking at pictures of animals and cannot stop herself. I was sitting next to her today and so once again all I could hear was "OHMYGARSH! HE'S SO CUTE!" and "LOOK AT THE LITTLE FACE!" and "HE'S SOOOO GRUMPEEEEE!!"

But then there came a sentence I wasn't expecting. 

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT PENGUIN HAS HIS DICK OUT!"

Of course, we all had to have a look. 

"Look! There it is! BLOOP!" said Gromit, pointing at a picture of a penguin. There WAS something in the middle of his feathers. 

"It's a pebble," said Reimer.

"It's one of his feathers going the wrong way," I suggested.

"It's his f***ing DICK!" Gromit insisted.

I pointed out that it looked off-centre and too high up, so some research was done. 

"I'm Googling, 'penguin penis'," said Ellie. 

It turns out that a penguin doesn't HAVE an 'outie' penis. It has a 'cloaca' which is a little pouch where penguins keep their sexual organs, their anuses and (presumably) their car keys. 

"So you can buy this picture," I said. "Since it is not pornographic."

"But everyone is going to ask the same questions as us," said Ellie. "They'll spend their meetings looking... and... wondering..."

These are the sort of productive debates we have in the team. It's just a shame the Steering Group weren't there.

S.