Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens

My Dear Princess, Loulou and Fellows,

This is an orb. Feefs bought it for us for Xmas. It ABSORBS solar energy and then EMITS a glow in the evenings. It changes colour from green to purple to blue. 

"Ooooh glowey!" said Caro. 

Sisters. They can be so alike. 

But Caro is away with Feefs in the Bay of Plenty at the moment, so I took this when out last night, prepping for our regularl nightly onslaught of hedgehogs and kittens. 

The day had passed by in a relatively unsurreal manner. This is because Gromit was not feeling well, emotionally or physically. She'd had a tough week and Faz and I were a bit concerned by how quiet she was. 

We had an online meeting with her in the afternoon and Faz asked her how she was doing. "Oh, I'm fine," she sighed. "But I just f*cked up my boyfriend's surprise trip to see his mum on her birthday."

"Hiiiiiii!" she'd said to his mum on the phone. "Craig will be SOOO excited to see you!" 

"I thought he was in Auckland?" replied Craig's mum.

"That WAS the cover story," admitted Gromit. "Totally f*cked it up again."

"BUT!" she added.

Faz and I sat up. 

"LOOK WHO I'VE GOT WITH ME!!" she said. And presented a chicken to the camera.

The chicken looked at us. We looked back.

"BECAUSE CRAIG ISN'T HERE I GET TO HAVE CHICKENS IN THE HOUSE!!!" said Gromit. Delighted with herself. She buried her nose into the chicken and gave it a big sniff. "AWWWW! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!" she told the chicken.

Then she presented us with a second, fluffier chicken. This one kind of had a Tina Turner haircut thing going on. 

It turns out she had more chickens than normal. This is because her friend had texted Gromit to ask if there was such a thing as a "chicken hotel". Like a cattery. For chickens. Her friend was going on holiday and had no-one to look after her flock.

"Oooooh bring them to me!!" said Gromit. 

She introduced us to her guest chickens: Henrietta, Daisy and McNugget.

"This is my home life," she told us. "You only see me at work. But I'm so glamorous in the house, being covered in chicken shit and duck shit."

Apparently there was an incident where one of her chickens got trapped under the coop.

"And I was looking TERRIFIC that day too," said Gromit. "With my lip gloss and a nice skirt so I just tucked my skirt into my undies and started digging under the coop WITH MY BARE HANDS and I GOT THAT CHICKEN and I was covered in MUD and SHIT and then Craig turned up with a shovel."

At the end of this chat, I sent Faz and Gromit a link about a couple who have been adopted by a rooster named Ronnie.

"That is a beautiful chicken," replied Faz in an email. "Which is a sentence I thought I would never type."

Surrealism for the day? Box checked.

S.