Through this wide window

My DearestLove, We share this silence now. It is Saturdaymorning. Through Our window you can hear the wind, see the rain. I’m searching for words and the meaning of this writing. Should I pray? Will You fluster in my inner ear, please…Some prickling, trickling, moving things?
No things, You say? But turn the music on. Remember how We moved and danced slowly on this Zenmusic of Cris Hinze. .Our morning exercise inside, outside on the terrace, when the sun came warming Us up. Do You feel Love overflowing Our tender gestures, while caressing and embracing Each Other.
We exercised to alleviate Your pain. Moving arms and shoulder. Not feeling the heaviness of what had come to threaten our daily existence, worries and fears. Mischa and Dolf so far away. After We drove back to Carlsheaven on the 15th of March 2020. Who could have forseen that our walklaround in the Sunny Ockenburgh-Gardens would be Our last  one together, the four of Us?
But in spite of all the distance and fears and worries We celebrated Our beautiful springtime here in and around this Gorgious Gardenhouse. Every day anew. We had fallen in love again, enjoying to dance together and on our own. Drinking herbal teas. Singing schooltime childrensongs. I know, I will take that up again.
Now in this moment, apart from Your snowdrops, crocus and winteraconites, real blossoming Springtime seems far away. But it will come. I am longing for Your first Magnolia flowers. How they smell. And You may smile when We can see the tulips and daffodils down here. Yes, I planted bulbs in December. We will see them through this wide window on a rainy day.