It was already late in the evening, that I felt too tired to write down my notes. So it would be  better to postpone it to the next morning.  I know, I had been following the last day of Impeachment. And I felt not only tired but also sad. Now at least this part seems over. In many aspects the ruins of democratic politics are still smoking. And the fires can be lit again anywhere. I will not go in to this deep crisis which regards us all. Because you will be informed enough and this is my photojournal.
The day has been very cold. At midday I did my shovelwork outside for quite a long time. It was ok to stay inside after that. I had taken some pictures around the house. And at sunrise again but I did not want to repeat myself. So I waited until just before sunset. It illustrates the beauty of the entire day. The night would become very very cold.
My reading of Thomas Merton will continue and coupled with other fundamental texts I’m working through. It might look as if reading, or at least my way of losing myself in it, is an attempt to shield and shelter myself against and away from others, away from the real World. As many of you know from own deep experience, this is not true. Words matter, The Word Matters and Thruthfull Love Matters.
My lifelong search throughout spiritual texts has always been a form of self-confrontation. A way to deepen and restore myself, just there where my life is left wounded, most painfull, lost without energy and guidance. A practical way to become who I am. Those words may be said and written far too easyly, too superficially. Because “I am” can refer to my unwise selfish, egocentered being. Ort o an „I“ given to me by the Other in Love. That is an „I“ who’s being is not own by myself. The death of my DearestLove Willemien has confronted me , shocked me into the deepest core of this, „my“ being. At  my age there is no more escape in confrontation with the abyssal emptiness my DearestLove has left behin. I know reading could mean a distraction trying to fill  the gap. Could be, but now for me, it is more of a last chance to focus on searching the True Core of Our life, the living Heart of my existence, before it really is too late.