"Snow Is Snowy When It's Snowing ....
.... I'm sorry it's slushy when it's going." (Should have put the S to bed last night.)
We had snow early this morning but it didn't settle and soon turned to slush. I had a message from my daughter telling me she had recited Ogden Nash's Winter Morning, learnt when she was little, to her husband. I knew she would, I recited it to myself. She told me that she had discovered another of ON's poems that is very appropriate for now. Winter Complaint is about the common cold but with a bit of tweaking it fits Covid.
Coronavirus Complaint
Now when I have Covid
I am careful with my Covid,
I consult a physician
And I do as I am told.
I muffle up my torso
In woolly woolly garb,
And I quaff great flagons
Of sodium bicarb.
I munch on aspirin,
I lunch on water,
And I wouldn’t dream of osculating
Anybody’s daughter,
And to anybody’s son
I wouldn’t say howdy,
For I am a sufferer
Magna cum laude.
I don’t like viruses,
But I’ll keep the virus I’ve got.
Will I take a chance of spreading it?
Definitely not.
I sneeze out the window
And I cough up the flue,
And I live like a hermit
Till the virus gets through.
And because I’m considerate,
Because I’m wary,
I am treated by my friends
Like Typhoid Mary.
Now when you have Covid
You are careless with your Covid,
You are cocky as a gangster
Who has just been paroled.
You ignore your physician,
You eat steaks and oxtails,
You stuff yourself with starches,
You drink lots of cocktails,
And you claim that gargling
Is a time of waste,
And you won’t take soda
For you don’t like the taste,
And you prowl around parties
Full of selfish bliss,
And greet your hostess
With a genial kiss.
You convert yourself
Into a deadly missle,
You exhale Hello’s
Like a steamboat wistle.
You sneeze in the subway
And you cough at dances,
And let everybody else
Take their own good chances.
You’re a viral load vulgarian,
A blundering blighter,
And you get more invitations
Than a gossip writer.
Yes, your throat is froggy,
And your eyes are swimmy,
And you hand is clammy,
And you nose is brimmy,
But you woo my girls
And their hearts you jimmy
While I sit here
With the Covid you gimmy.
Comments
Sign in or get an account to comment.