Puppy jail

Convicted of -
Chewing the chair
Chewing the chair leg
Chewing the sofa
Chewing the radiator pipe
Chewing the table
Chewing wires
Chewing the blu-ray player
Chewing magazines
Chewing cupboard handles
(Getting the idea here?!)

Several other offences taken into consideration, including -
Pulling the weights off the full-length vertical blinds
Licking the radiator
Chewing LomondLad & Mrs LL
and most seriously...
Pulling the wallpaper from the wall (sentence only very slightly reduced because the paper didn’t tear and is repairable).

Parole is not guaranteed....