The curious case of the missing penguin - solved!

There's been a great mystery at work lately. Simon - who is the head of PE - had a penguin who he had introduced to the school as an example of the arrival of spring in an assembly. Yes, we were all confused too, but he said he hadn't any other birds to use as examples. Anyway, after the assembly, the penguin went missing. This was about a month ago. A ransom note appeared and, soon after that, evidence started arriving by post of the Penguin's latest exploits, including a night in the cells. An evidence board was set up by Simon and his form group. Suspects were listed and motives explored. Still the photos arrived, plus postcards from the penguin, sent from Northern Ireland and Malta. Pupils across the school mounted a 'Free the Penguin' campaign, with masks and placards. The plot thickened further when it appeared that Newcastle United were involved.

Finally, in today's assembly, the mystery was solved. Ex-Newcastle United and England footballing legend Peter Beardsley (we're not worthy) was in school to give a talk to the children about his career and to answer any questions. The biggest question in school was finally answered when he produced a carrier bag and inside there was the missing penguin. Today's blip should have been one of Peter producing the penguin and the look on Simon's face when he did so (shock? surprise? embarrassment? - all this made worse by the fact that the local press were there to cover Peter's visit to school). However, I was too busy laughing my socks off to get a photo until later, when Peter kindly agreed to pose with the penguin.

After OFSTED and the other trials and tribulations at work recently, the penguin mystery has provided a well needed hoot for everyone. What a day! And Peter Beardsley: what a great bloke!