“Wasting” Time on God

Woke up this morning, intending to spend a productive day studying - but 20 minutes in, a bout of nausea meant I could do little else than lie down for the rest of the morning!

I still wanted to use this time in some way...so that it wouldn’t go to “waste”. What does that even mean? I know that one of the most valuable things I can do with my time is to spend it with God. But my energy was too low to form coherent prayers, I questioned if it would really be that meaningful to Him.

But then I stumbled across this quote from Henry Nouwen:

“Somehow, somewhere, I know that He loves me, even though I do not feel that love as I can feel a human embrace, even though I do not hear a voice as I hear human words of consolation, even though I do not see a smile as I can see a human face. Still the Lord speaks to me, looks at me, and embraces me there, where I am still unable to notice it.”


Why do I measure my time with Jesus using the world’s standard of “productivity”? Why do I measure it at all? Why do I base the “success” of my time with Him on results that can be felt or seen? As if He is half-present, half-quantifying my progress, with an examiner’s eye. Whereas in reality God is inviting us to be known by Him, with a Father’s heart.

I love the line from the hymn “Come Ye Sinners”:
“All the fitness He requires is to feel your need of Him”.

And yet Father it somehow pleases your heart, even when I pray distractedly, or defectively. You gladly welcome us, even when we can’t see the progress...time “wasted” on You is always time well spent.

Gratefuls:

- Rolly got engaged!!!!! (Our translator from Indonesia, who became a great friend).
- A lovely FaceTime with my Grandma, and phone call with my Granny and Granda.
- God knowing my heart so well, that I needed to rest in Him before “doing”.
- Successfully building Sophie’s bed with these 3 gals, defying all expectations (of ourselves)
- Another amazing livestream by my superstar sister!!