Legless In Belfountain

Conversation overheard between Mary and Bill, an elderly couple sitting on a bench by the side of the road at Belfountain, Ontario . .

Mary: "Wake up Bill, lad. We seem to have been sitting here for ages. I reckon our kids put us here round about Christmas. That was a few days ago, wasn't it?"

Bill: " 'Appen you're right, old love. I've been sitting here so long my leg's gone to sleep."

Mary: "Eek, it hasn't gone to sleep; some thievin' bastard's been and gone and stole it. Whatever will we do?"

Bill: "Don't worry yourself, old love. Perhaps that nice lad over there taking our picture will give us a hand."

Mary: "Do put your glasses on, your blind old fart. The swine's got your leg tucked under his arm. And now he's climbing into that dirty old truck. Stop you robbin' varmint or I'll blow your fu*kin' brains out with my trusty old rabbit gun."

Bill: "Don't think you will, old girl. That woman with him has just thrown it into the getaway vehicle."

Mary: "Oh, well. Perhaps we'll just have to stay here a bit longer, then. Soon be Easter."

Bill: "Aye, love, you know best."