Keeping Going Part 2

Today has been a funny old day. It started off with a misunderstanding (which I’ve spent the rest of the day, reeling in embarrassment over) but am now resolving to think: “ah stuff it, it’s no biggie!”.

I seem to have become immersed in the creation of an epic rainbow cake with my children. The project seemed to strengthen in magnitude by the minute but the finished product was really rather fine, albeit an onslaught on the teeth & hips!

After ‘cakeageddon’ we took bikes to the park & I was somewhat perturbed by the sharp chill in the air, as I walked/trotted briskly along after my children. Apparently, Tuesday into Wednesday will see us welcome more warm sun which I very much look forward to. This lockdown has made me somewhat preoccupied with the weather & I am rather doing my own head in with it, I have to admit!

I think (all things considered) this week has been the most challenging of lockdown so far & has been characterised by the following emotions: guilt, insecurity, worry, confusion & yearning.

However, the need to KEEP ON GOING is ever pertinent. There is no other way.

I stood in the park today whilst my youngest fell out with my oldest because she overtook her, or looked at her funny, or something...& I took stock of my surroundings...

I watched a yellow finch for a while but my chances of capturing it on camera were zilch & I soon became mesmerised by this boulder in the river. It has a piece of rubble wedged against it- rubble washed down the river & left by the most recent floods to hit our town & yet the water gracefully continues to flow around & past it.

I want to be like this water; I want to keep flowing gracefully (ahem! I can but try!) & it feels like my biggest fear could creep up on me at any moment: to be seen as a burden by EVERYONE in my life.

With all of this taken into account then, the only task that remains to be completed (& it’s a task that needs revisiting often, for the sake of equilibrium) is to seek solace within myself.

Once I’ve done that, I’ll continue to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’ll do this because as we all know “life is 10% what happens & 90% how I react to it”.

This particularly whimsical maxim sits on my classroom wall (amongst other much more profound literary nuances, I hasten to add). However, since I have the audacity to display it, I know I should be wise to continue to follow the sentiment myself, in the most realistic way possible.

Stay healthy, stay happy & don’t sweat the small stuff!