Both Muffins Need To Scream

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

We made the most of our expanded bubble today. Tiger and Loulou came around for pizza, which was also our first food delivery since the restrictions have been lifted.

As usual, the talk quickly turned to absolute filth. Loulou was telling us how she has an old videotaped party from the 2000's which she got transferred to DVD. But watching it was depressing viewing. She explained:

"It was all, he's dead, she's dead, she died too, he was a w*nker... c*nt, c*nt, c*nt, c*nt..."

Then we got on to the subject of Zoom meetings. Tiger has to host a lot of these for his job, but (management aside) his workmates sound like quite a fun bunch. Apparently on one occasion they tried to convince him that the screen was frozen by holding the same weird expressions in all of the boxes.

"It worked too," said Tiger. "I was pressing the reset button and checking my connection when one of them sneezed."

Tiger is a funny fellow and attempts to keep everyone's spirits up by being jovial and jokey on the meetings. This drives Loulou mad, as she lives with him in a tiny cottage and cannot escape. 

"I hear the same BLOODY JOKES all day," she complained.

"She's starting to heckle," said Tiger. "And apparently I didn't get a joke right the other day and so she texted me to complain. Which is why I checked my phone today and found a text saying, 'Both muffins need to scream'."*

Caro told us about "Zoom-Bombing" which is a thing, apparently. And then, because it was Caro, she showed us video of a group of workers who had been Zoom-bombed by a couple of fat naked men having a Jodrell Bank.

"It's not like we're not used to w*nk at meetings," said Loulou. "But this is so much more out in the open."

Of course, we also continued the subject of Caro's recent op. But this time the focus was more on the lady-gardening that Caro had done to prepare. Apparently she used my clippers! I'm not sure how I feel about having my head shaved now.

"I forgot how short he has it though," said Caro. "I just went vrrrrrm! And gave myself a crew-cut down there. I look like a plucked chicken."

So the usual highbrow chat from us. Although we did talk about weddings a bit. Loulou and Tiger are talking about getting married when things return to normal. They can't do it right now, as their plans involve travel. As ex-backpackers they have mates all over the world, so they want to get married (somewhere) and then travel around having reception parties - a bit like what me and Caro did back in 2007.

If they should turn up in Germany or Scotland, you should invite yourselves along. Tell them I sent you. Although you can expect them to respond, "W*nker... c*nt, c*nt, c*nt, c*nt..."

S.

p.s. Both the boys were VERY UNSOCIABLE for this visit and didn't appear at all! We think this may be because the last time they saw Loulou, they got stuffed in a sack and taken to Paraparaumu. Anyway, Loulou had brought them a big bag of second-hand cat toys that their cat doesn't like. You can see them having fun in today's picture.

* Two muffins are baking in the oven. The first muffin screams, "AAAAH!!! It's so f*cking hot in here!" and the second muffin screams, "AAAAAH! A talking muffin!!!"

Loulou said that in Tiger's telling, the first muffin was a bit too casual, and it made the joke not work. I leave it up to you to decide.