Need plenty of this...

While making the incredible journey home, through ice cut chasms and fast flowing streams, one mistake lead to my fall. As a glacier moved under my feet, I attempted a leap of faith; a last minute bound that was all or nothing. Yet it worked, and as the ice slipped away beneath where I once stood, I breathed a sigh of relief...

Only my relief was a falsehood.

The whole world moved below, and try as I may, my sure footedness gave way to an uneasy wobble then ultimately a fall. Down I fell, into a foul stinking pit of water, ice and other stuff. I was now marked and unsavoury...

Okay, TL;DR - I slipped on the ice and fell in some dog poo - happy now?