Low Down

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

I've been in a low mood all day today. It's not the lockdown, I woke up at 4am with a migraine which left me feeling grumpy and lethargic all day. You know how feeling under the weather just ruins your mood and makes you feel like everything is pointless?

I was a bit like that.

So, on this Good Friday I just hung out with cats and stayed quiet. 

However. Now it is later in the evening. I just watched Aussie Gogglebox which always cheers me up. As usual, the Australians were very funny. And they have a programme on tv over there called, "You Can't Ask That!" in which people write forbidden questions on cards which are then answered by a panel of experts.

This week's experts: Nudists.

There were the questions we were expecting like - 

- Do you cook in the nude?
Yes, many of them do. But they take precautions when frying.
- Do you check each other's bits out?
Yes, they feel this is only natural.
- What happens if you get a stiffy?
Mostly they don't because just being naked doesn't automatically mean "sex" (they said). But if you DO get a stiffy that is all right so long as you don't try to hug anyone.

But the question I didn't see coming was:

- How do you not get skid-marks on the couch?
The nudists explain that they all employ "bum-towels". I was amazed they had thought it through to the point where they had a word for it. "Just in case you accidentally fart and do a wet one," explained one of the nudists, helpfully.

So obviously that lifted my spirits. And in case you are taking this isolation thing too far - now you know. Bum-towels.

S.